Gay men top or bottom

The bottom gets the good end of the deal.

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Dennis has been thinking a lot about position lately because he keeps getting bait-and-switched: Some gay men are reluctant to define themselves as top or bottom. Stan fell for his boyfriend when the subject of position came up on their first date.

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The issue is made more complex by that fact that looks are no indication of proclivity. Gone are the handkerchief codes of the seventies, where a hankie in the left pocket indicated a guy was a top, and the right indicated a bottom.

Seriously, Science?

Adrian considered himself a top when he met his current boyfriend, Mike, who had never bottomed. The first time, Mike was nervous, so they joked about it to make things more comfortable. Getting better at bottoming required me to see through all that, and trust my experience.

In my mind, I continuously returned to that first experience. It felt right because it was right.

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It was the opposite of shame — it was my body doing what it needed to do. Today, bottoming is an awesome part of my life. If you want to try bottoming, here are five pointers to get you started, with more to come in part two.


  1. Vasiliy Lomachenko: The Real-Life Diet of the World's Best Pound-for-Pound Boxer.
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  3. A Gay Man Explains How To Tell If He's A Top Or A Bottom?
  4. gay guys dating app.
  5. DEPARTMENTS.

Calling myself a bottom has pros and cons. On one hand, I have an easier time finding tops — guys who enjoy taking the active role in sex.

How to Bottom: Queer Guide to Anal Sex Part 1 - them.

On the other hand, putting myself in a box is frustrating when I want to top. In my experience, most people are versatile in the right situation, or with the right person — I am. These labels make finding sex partners easier. Before hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff established these words as standard sex vocabulary, queer men used discreet street coding — colored hankies, certain types of clothing — to discreetly tell each other what kind of sex they were looking for and which role top or bottom, dominant or submissive they wanted to take.

Bottoming is usually not extremely fun on its first attempts.


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  3. Genetics May Determine if Gay Men Are Tops or Bottoms.
  4. Are You a Top or Bottom? Here's How to Find Out?
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  6. Who's On Top?.
  7. ABOUT THE MAGAZINE.

For many, bottoming is uncomfortable in the beginning. With practice comes pleasure. Explaining the terms this way, however, is a bit of an oversimplification. These preferences each typically come with preconceived notions about the types of people who fit each one—but whether these ideas ring true matters only to you and your partner. This isn't always the case, though. That's why the best way to determine if you're a top or bottom is to experiment with your partner.

The Difference Between A ‘Top’ And A ‘Bottom’

If you keep an open mind and go into sex without a predetermined idea of what should happen, you and your partner will likely fall into your natural preferences. Do what feels right to you both, and let nature take its course. Your preference will make itself clear in time. Sure, some guys know right away which they prefer, even before having sex for the first time.