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15 Great First Date Questions

There they sit—you could spot them a mile away. A man and man face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed—stylish, but not overdone. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching.

17 Practical Gay Dating Tips for the New Age

They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.

Genuine interest goes a long way.

Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking. Who has been the biggest influence in your life? I'd rather not listen to you talk shit about someone I could potentially be very good friends with. While I'm curious about your life and all the great things you have to offer, I enjoy a little bit of mystery, too.

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Don't allow yourself to get so caught up in conversation that I'm not even able to get one word in. I'm sure you're a class act, too, but so am I! Take a goddamn breath, and let me tell you about myself, if you don't mind. Whether you enjoy a few weekday drinks with your boys at the local gay bar, a few puffs from a bowl or bareback sex with a side of handcuffs, I'm not one to judge.

That being said, I think it's best to avoid mentioning any habits you have that could be considered a "imperfection" in someone's eyes. In my past experiences, just a mere mention of someone's questionable hobby could trigger something subconsciously in a person's brain and act as turn-off for the rest of the date.

He must be a lazy piece of shit. If you wanted to have sex and never see me again, we didn't need to waste money on cocktails first. Whether it continues toward a relationship is certainly a question you can ask yourself, but it's better not to make it awkward by asking what I'm looking for.

10 Great Questions To Ask On A Date

Pay a compliment or two Everyone likes to hear something nice about himself. It tells the listener that he is appreciated and has something special. And in case of a first date, it is even more important that you make your partner feel nice about himself since this will in turn make him wish to be with you even more. If you sense that your partner is the shy type and may feel embarrassed by a personal remark, direct your compliment to something else for instance a hobby or his profession.


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Never say anything sexually inappropriate or make a personal remark which may make a person feel uncomfortable. This way your date will not only feel flattered but also be assured that your appreciation is sincere. Ask about him This approach may seem to be done to death but as far as getting results is concerned, it rarely fails. This is because of the simple reason that almost everyone likes talking about themselves.

First Date Conversation Topics All Gay Guys Should Avoid

Avoid controversial topics General dating etiquette usually warns couples of engaging in controversial topics on a first date. Topics like religion, sexuality and politics can arouse conflicting loyalties and emotions and since this is the time when two people are just getting to know each other, such topics are hardly congenial to pleasant dating.

And yet in the gay community, political and religious views are often very pertinent and even work as a bonding factor the community. Indeed it is highly likely that you may have met your partner at a political rally or a church meeting organized around gay issues.