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Or neglect to say something you think you should have. You can talk about your exes. You can talk about your kids. Ask them what their early days were like. Chances are, their stories are full of interesting little details that could have spelled the end.
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And those things could have put the brakes on a budding relationship between two other people. The only detail that can derail a relationship with the right person is how much you believe you are worthy of love , and how much love you give yourself. Lack of self-love will prevent you from truly connecting with another person, because you are fundamentally disconnected from yourself. You are rejecting parts of yourself, making it impossible to freely give and receive love with another.
And the same goes for you. Your unresolved self-criticism and judgment will create all sorts of booby traps that will keep you from fully engaging in a new relationship—and building the necessary intimacy. No other person but you can make you feel lovable—not even the right person. It has to come from you first. The best way to increase your odds of landing in the right relationship—and getting off the dating treadmill for good—is to BE the right partner.
Don’t Scare Away Mr. or Ms. Right
Instead of joy and harmony, there will be struggle and pain. We have two PhDs and 36 published books between us. Yet the most common question a relationship expert will ever get is this one: Ever since we consciously attracted each other over 30 years ago, we turned our relationship into a living laboratory.
We wanted to create a marriage that ran entirely on positive energy, and we developed tools to help us accomplish that every day.
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Since then, we've been teaching our methods to thousands of couples and singles—in our counseling offices, at our live seminars, and even on Oprah. Now it's your turn. Subscribe to our free relationship newsletter at Hearts in True Harmony.