Often times I use a favorite song title or a word from my favorite movie- something that will spark interest or prompt other hopeless romantics to look at my profile. Screen names are like billboard headlines, which invite others to at least check out the product.
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Online, I've found that the more abstract the screen name, the more guys will message me and ask questions, which ultimately leads to a conversation- the best way to assess a match. Keep in mind, screen names can also be a deterrent. So think about the image you want to present. A name like "lookn4luv" is more likely to attract the romantic types than "easystevie". Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover.
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They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away. A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. Keep the intrigue by saving the details until you and your dream man are intimate for the first time.
Show a little chest or even a leg, but if you wouldn't show it in public don't show it online. By keeping your pics on the PG or R-rated scale you're showing your suitor that you're about more than just about sex. Graphic shots may get more quantity, but it's the quality of man you're looking for. Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don't.
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Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space usually characters long to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man. Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. Come find out! The first example is likely to attract a guy that's into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating.
Use your ad section as just that- an ad! You have a short amount of space to show your personality and call your dream guy to action. Now that your catchy screen name and headline attracted a guy, clinch the deal with your ad text.
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Use the list you made earlier to help you write about your interests, including what you like and dislike in a man. You can mention your education, hobbies, or quirky personality traits. If you're a witty guy, give them a little taste.
If you're the more reserved type, say so. I'm more attracted to a guy who's told me a little about himself more than one that is vague or leaves too much to wonder. How intriguing is it for a writer to find out that someone loves fiction or for a sci-fi movie lover to discover that someone has the entire Star Wars collection?
These details may seem out of place for sites known for quick hookups, but relationship-oriented guys browse these sites too and your purpose is to find a date or long-term relationship which is about compatibility on levels beyond the physical. Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things. Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie. Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure?
Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust. You may not be able to grace the cover of Men's Health , but if there is anything I've learned in the gay game is that someone actually many people will find you hot! Privacy is important, but many HIV positive guys don't list their status because of the stigma that goes along with it. I had a crush on an HIV positive guy for years and the reason it didn't work out had nothing to do with his status. Of course, there must be communication about safer sex and health, but all couples should be cautious regardless of status.
If you're comfortable listing your status, then do so knowing that it won't deter everyone. However, if you prefer not to list your results at least be sure not to lie. You want a relationship built on trust. You and your date will have time to talk about it when appropriate, but giving him a false impression can be a quick turn off. Many profiles will ask about your sexual preferences. Sure you may like group sex, but is that a detail you want to disclose up front?
If you are looking for the more relationship oriented type of guy, you may want to emphasize that you desire friendship, a relationship or even 1-on-1 sex. Stating that you are looking for group sex or 3 ways in a profile sends a signal that you are promiscuous. You should never lie about the things you desire and keeping it bottled up inside is not good either, but think about your audience and try to assess what information is too much too soon.
Just because your dream man doesn't like to do something now, doesn't mean he's not open to the possibilities.
However, keep in mind he may be turned off by your desire before getting to know you. Another popular profile question is which sexual role best fits you.
James P., 8 months ago
Reflect on what they say, and decide for yourself if you agree. When you settle on a few more traits that represent you, be sure to mention them along with being shy. You could be a shy guy, but also be a very open-minded and conscientious person. Preparing yourself will boost your self-confidence.
Ask open-ended questions on topics that interest you. Maybe you recently did something cool, like you went to a new city, or you discovered a really fantastic band. Mention these things. Going in with a plan will help you feel more relaxed, and that will help you to be more you. Shy guys tend not to boast and are usually getting more action. Talkers be talking; shy guys be doing! Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like him to reach out and hold your hand? If you feel this way, chances are, so does he. Now, this is the make or break moment. Now all you have to do is take his hand and here are 3 possible outcomes of that bold move: This could put you well on the way to your first kiss this evening, and figuring out how versatile he really is.
In this case, bail and abort. First dates are hard, both for you and the other guy. Nerves play a role, and self-doubt will creep in no matter how confident or shy you are.
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