And then he wanted to kiss me on the mouth, but I said no, and he kissed me on the cheek again and left. And my friends were laughing again. But he gripped my arm and asked if he could kiss me, and I felt at that moment the way I always feel when people offer me alcohol. That to say no — to resist in any way — would be to alter some fundamental quality that held the evening together. And I felt, at the end of a very long week, unable to muster the strength to do that.
But it did matter to me. I had to get up early for the airport the next morning.
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All I could see in my mind when I shut my eyes was his small mouth, the wet-dryness of it, the pressure of his cheek brushing mine when he pulled away. How he asked if he could do it again, and how I tried to keep his arms and hands in sight at all times as he moved closer, afraid that he would reach or brush or take something more.
In the bar, after the guy left, I tried to relax, but I kept thinking, What if he did come back, what would I do then? What would I do when I felt a strange hand on me, years and miles away from that place? There are easy guesses: I was raped often as a young person; I was abused physically; no one ever hugged me until I was a teenager. But these have the hollow ring of simple solutions to complicated questions. When the guy at the writing retreat kissed me on the mouth, I felt, first, emptiness, and then the queasy, earth-tilting sway of fear.
Worse still, I saw the flare of their words working, contextualizing the moment, knowing that it would be even harder to explain my feelings about it later; that it would be impossible to dismiss it. Oh, when. Why are you alone? And then, I guess, I feel like a hypocrite, because while I do bristle when people ask me questions like that, I do long for something. Recently, another friend came to stay with me for a couple days.
We had coffee and tea. We ate meals together. We looked at books. We had long conversations deep into the night. We challenged each other.
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We engaged each other. And then, of course, there's President Donald Trump, who has been married three times and had children with each wife. Families like O'Rourke's, with parents in their first marriage, are now a minority — a far cry from when they accounted for 73 percent of children's households, according to the Pew Research Center. The only major family type not represented in the field is single parents, who now account for about a quarter of all homes where kids are being raised. Still, the idealized nuclear familiar of the "Leave It to Beaver"-era continues to play an outsize role in the popular imagination, even though that type of family was never as common as thought.
As recently as , Nelson Rockefeller's divorce and remarriage scandalized the nation and helped cost him the Republican presidential nomination.
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I venture to hope not," scoffed former Sen. Prescott Bush, a Connecticut Republican who had been a Rockefeller ally but turned against him after he remarried.
America has had only two divorced presidents Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump , even though there's plenty of evidence that many more had affairs. More than years ago, President Grover Cleveland may have raped one woman and married another whose deceased father had entrusted him to be her legal guardian. He was 49, she was He is the only sitting president to be wed in the White House. It's a change Buttigieg especially is aware of — even though he said his "gaydar" isn't powerful enough to determine Buchanan's sexuality.
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How to Cope When You're Gay and Lonely - GQ
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