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The pros and cons of younger/older relationships
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Just wondering what older looked back to 20 year old gay men: Oscar Wilde was 36 when he became involved with the year-old Lord Alfred Douglas.
Stephen Fry made headlines in when he started dating actor Steven Webb, despite their year age difference. And designer Calvin Klein was 48 years older than his ex-partner, model Nick Gruber.
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But that nine years was enough for Joe to be on the receiving end of a flurry of nasty Facebook messages when the two began dating. But when it came to talking about my relationship with James, I got so much hate online.
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If I post pictures of us I will get more than messages saying they want to sleep with him. The age gap comments were a whole new level of nastiness and jealousy. At one point I even thought about ending the relationship; it would have been so much easier to go out with someone my own age. According to Lemarc Thomas, an age gap is just one of many factors which can contribute to whether a relationship is functional or dysfunctional. We also consider shared core values, background, lifestyle, goals, personality and attraction.
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So older gay partners can become a role model, a teacher and protective elder friend. In return, it can bring out the paternal side of an older gay man.
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Older men are very, very insecure. They want a good-looking lad on their arm to control them. Sex was not necessarily exchanged for financial compensation, the older partner offered intelligence and social accomplishments, which are often as strongly attractive to younger partners as material possessions.
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The generation gap for gay men is potentially massive. What do older men with younger partners have in common? Why are they attracted to each other?