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Because of this, Alex dissociates himself from gay communities, keeping to himself and not going out much. And I found this apprehension to be shared among others. For example, if a guy comes on to Kevin, he admits to also questioning whether it's because he is Asian or if the guy is interested in him as a person, regardless of race: It's tricky trying to understand your worth as a gay Asian man, or any person of color, when the gay community can be so dominantly focused on the oh-so-desirable Adonis-bodied white man.
The way gay Asian men can be spoken to or ignored online causes some second-guessing in interactions with white men, especially when it comes to being more than friends.
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It works the other way as well, where being associated with a gay Asian is seemingly taboo. What do you think people are saying? All of this is quite intangible, and "it's hard to quantify racist experiences that you encounter in intimate relationships, and from the queer community sometimes. It's just how we feel or are made to feel, really," added Daniel. The only real obvious proof that can be seen are the toxic messages online "No Asians," "I'm a no rice, no spice kinda guy," etc. Sign up for the best of VICE, delivered to your inbox daily.
On a date, a guy actually told me "he's a no rice, no spice kinda guy. Newsletters are the new newsletters. More VICE.
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