Self-conscious and insecure about dating gay

When it comes to body image for lesbians and queer women, there's not one specific universal experience. But, I spoke to a few women who are dating women or who have in the past , and they told me how their experiences helped them feel better about their bodies. Megan, 25, feels better about her body when dating women because it changes the way in which she sees herself.

I loved their bodies, and realized that mine was just as perfect. I realized I was ultimately attracted to confidence, especially people who are confident in their own queerness, and body type wasn't even on my radar, so it took that pressure off of myself to have the 'perfect' body.

For Sabrina, 22, dating women helped her confront her body image issues, and eventually, led to her feeling more at peace with her body. But it seems to be more of a problem in the gay community.

When it comes to appearance, gay men hold themselves - and one another - to far more exacting standards. I spoke to a few men anonymously about this on Grindr. A leading gay lifestyle magazine, Attitude, has just published an entire issue dedicated to body image problems in the gay community. Part of the obsession some gay men have with their appearance definitely comes from seeking validation. HueyDavid - YouTube.

They look past your sexual orientation. How to be Gay and Happy. Todd argued that homosexuality is often accompanied by feelings of shame stemming from a lack of acceptance in society. Those feelings can lead to a lack of acceptance for ourselves, which leads to an unhealthy fixation with our appearance. In , the International Journal of Eating Disorders found that gay or bisexual men were three times more likely than straight men to have body image issues. It seems to be the other way around for women, with a study finding that lesbian women reported less body dissatisfaction than heterosexual women.

According to the lesbian blogger Denise Warner, "women are more accepting of body flaws, possibly because they're so aware of the sexism in mainstream media" when it comes to promoting unattainable beauty standards. I came out when I was 15 years old. David compared himself to boys he thought were more attractive than him. But some do. Perhaps like former notorious s neo- Nazi street fighter Nicky Crane , who also eventually came out as gay. Talking about gay shame and self-loathing is not easy. It flies in the face of the message of gay pride that has dominated the gay rights movement of the last 50 years.

But we must talk about it.

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Most people wrestling with shame hurt themselves. Disproportionate numbers of LGBT people suffer with self-destructive behaviour.

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At the end of we lost George Michael after years of mental health and addiction struggles. A year later, last November, year-old American rapper Lil Peep died from a fentanyl overdose months after he came out as bisexual.

All in a year that saw the usual reports of unsupported LGBT teenagers killing themselves, such as a year-old in Stirling, after years of bullying, and a year-old girl whose life-support machine was turned off after doing the same. And so it goes on and on, without much awareness or enough being done to address the situation.

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Wider society has never cared about the children who struggle to come to terms with who they are. I was 11 when I realised I was gay and I could not cope.