These days, even Grindr seems like it doesn't want to be Grindr anymore, having recently repositioned itself as a "gay lifestyle brand. INTO , a new content feed with former Out. What's not immediately clear is what's behind the evolution toward more dating-, event- and platonic-focused networking.
21 Dating Struggles Gay Men Face In Their Twenties
Is it a fundamental shift in gay dating, or lipstick on a pig? A certain line of thought runs through many of those complaints about gay dating apps: The apps themselves have made hooking up so easy that they've created a dating scene all but defined by casual sex—one that's possibly losing its luster. From public cruising to "secret languages" like Polari , gay people have long used a variety of means to identify fellow queers, both out of sheer necessity and as a means of facilitating sex.
In his book Classified , Harry Cocks , history professor at the University of Nottingham, implies that gay apps represent a modern development of the personal ad, a form of mating that's at least a century old. It's likely the hookup-focused culture that helped gay apps flourish has long existed, and simply made more visible with the emergence of smartphones.
That's what social demographer Michael Rosenfeld suggests. For people who want commitment, apps are a way to facilitate meeting enough people until they find their partner. Rather than a fading hookup culture, a cocktail of other factors might be to blame.
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Newer features might be a way to distract from PR nightmares on dating apps, spurred on by those privacy, racism, and technical concerns mentioned earlier. It's also possible that platforms themselves are skirting their "hookup app" reputation as an attempt to court investors. Last year, after Grindr's rebranding, a Chinese gaming company owned by a straight billionaire acquired a majority stake in the company ; last month, the same company announced plans to purchase the company outright.
Apps may also be responding to a distant threat: It only makes sense then that apps would diversify their services, whether that means helping men meet partners for sex or single travelers connect with other queer men in the cities they visit. So things that may appear as techy gimmicks—such as a switch to toggle between "Mr. Right Now"—might also signify a more nuanced dating culture to come, one that recognizes how romance, sex, and friendship have historically blurred in the gay community.
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21 Dating Struggles Gay Men Face In Their Twenties
Some of that hasn't changed in But as the number of out LGBTQ people has grown, so too have their opportunities in online dating spaces. Queer-friendly dating apps and sites are multiplying, and there are even a few that are — wait for it — pretty damn good. Here are the best dating apps and sites that'll maximize your opportunities while minimizing your human contact.
They're all worth a look or a swipe for that next hookup or serious relationship and are available on Android or iPhone. Some have paid versions, but prices aren't anywhere near the ridiculous ranks of the eharmonies of the world. So, look: There are plenty of decent apps out there, and even more that are up-and-coming. For people who are queer and want to connect, fear not.
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Whether you hate it a little or hate it a lot, it's a rite of passage for most of us. Best for queer women. The Good. Free version: Yes Paid version: And queer women basically have one: Thankfully, HER is a non-offensive, user friendly app good for folks seeking long-term relationships as well as those who want a more, uh, temporary arrangement. Aside from a dating app, HER also acts as a sort of Facebook group for the queer community: Go to local events, find new LGBT movies to watch, bash the government, and connect with anyone who shares a post you like.
The site doesn't assume that all of their users are cis women and allows folks to identify as genderfluid, non-binary, and otherwise. Details to remember: HER is totally free to download.
Accounts are verified and linked to people's Facebook profiles, so you're less likely to find fake profiles and trolls. Users have to be incredibly selective about their words and corny jokes.
Newsletters are the new newsletters.
It can sometimes take several message before you realize the person you're speaking with is way too into Harry Potter. Check it out here. Best gay app that hetero folks also use. Tinder Free version: Yes Tinder Plus: More than 50 million people use Tinder monthly, and not all of them are straight dudes hiking mountains.
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Queer and trans folks head to Tinder because its dating pool is colossal. The app worked with GLAAD, the cast of Transparent , and trans activists to make sure it met the diverse needs of the trans community. The users contended that they were removed from the site after male trolls submitted multiple false complaint reports. Despite all of this, Tinder has made notable efforts to be more trans and queer inclusive over the years by offering an above average number of gender options. That's more than most apps its size, which typically offer a grand total of Tinder is free to download.
On Gay Dating Apps, Hooking Up Is Out
More than 50 million people use Tinder , and chances are you're going to see someone who you work with on the app. Because of its popularity, Tinder is the app people love to hate.
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This doesn't mean the haters don't have a point, but in general, the quality of people you find on Tinder is no better or worse than you'll find anywhere else. Have faith! Best for men looking for a relationships. Chappy Free version: