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No one has to travel to other person's home, until after they meet. There is no catfishing, no chance of a robbery or gay bashing, and no obligation to do anything anyone does not feel comfortable doing. Plus, most bathhouses have relaxing amenities, like a sauna, jacuzzi, steamroom and maybe even a pool.

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So if you don't meet anyone interesting, you can still have a relaxing visit. Bathhouse culture has changed over the years. Today, most are clean places that promote safe sex and offer HIV testing at set times. The demographics have become much younger, especially in places like Chicago, LA, Houston and Dallas.

They also should be considered a good place to meet guys who hit each other up on Grindr. Having someone come to your home, or going to someone else's home, can be a scary prospect. Will you get robbed, beat up or worse? Will the person at the door look anything like their profile pics? Will they try to pressure you into taking drugs, or having unprotected sex? All those things should really be considered in today's world. A bathhouse is a great place to neutralize all those concerns.

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Be safe, and play hard. First of all, you make the incorrect assumption that all gay and bi men are in the closet. Gay men, in most parts of the country, at least, are able to live openly. At work. Oh wait — MeToo — maybe not so much there anymore. At church.


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At the gym. All of the other gay and bi men I have met—been friends with, had sex with, dated—I have met elsewhere, whether on other social networks or in physical locations like bars and clubs. Craigslist, from my perspective, was never that important; there were always other ways to me up with people, often better ways.

The profiles on apps, for instance, can say incomparably more than an old Craiglist ad ever could. There are a lot of gay dating options, but the first thing you have to decide is which site works best for you. My friend was recently looking for a good gay dating site and found that picking sites that had free memberships he could give a few a try and see which ones he liked. He joined recently and has already been on a couple dates.

You do not have to please others when you prefer pleasing yourself. You can flaunt what you have and know that someone with the same lifestyle will appreciate it. You will have access to lots of gay men when you join the instanthookups. Many of these men will share the same thing as you do, but if not, you will have a platform to start a discussion, learning about each other and finding out how you can make the connection work for both of you. You no longer have to search elsewhere to find men that understand the gay lifestyle.

This is where you want to be - a place where like-minded people meet to shy away from the phobia in society that they have to deal with everyday. Forget about meeting men at gay bars and having to compete with other men or go on a one night stand with a perfect stranger that you have not learned anything about.

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