His friend came out himself. It was a revelation: There were other people studying to be priests who were gay. It was just that no one talked about it. He reached out to a former seminary professor who he thought might also be a gay man. He intervened, and came out to them. He lost three friends that night. That is a reason many of the men are out to only a few close friends. The grapevine has taught them which priests in their diocese are gay, whom to trust and whom to fear. Before then, I was out to certain classmates. I realized this is not a me issue. This is a human rights issue.
But there is still way too much homophobia in the church. All priests must wrestle with their vows of celibacy, and the few priests who are publicly out make clear they are chaste. Still, many priests said they had had sex with other men to explore their sexual identity. Some have watched pornography to see what it is like for two men to have sex. They ultimately found more anguish than pleasure. One priest had sex for the first time at 62, no strings attached, with a man he met online.
The relationship was discovered and reported to his bishop, and he has not had sex since. Another priest, when asked if he had ever considered himself as having a partner, wondered what that even meant. He paused, before mentioning one very special friend. Though open, the closet means that many priests have held the most painful stories among themselves for decades: The seminarian who died by suicide, and the matches from a gay bar found afterward in his room.
The priest friends who died of AIDS. The feeling of coming home to an empty rectory every night. So they find ways to encourage one another. Some have signed petitions against church-sponsored conversion therapy programs, or have met on private retreats, after figuring out how to conceal them on their church calendars. Some may call this rebellion. Just over a year ago, after meeting with a group of gay priests, Father Greiten decided it was time to end his silence. At Sunday Mass, during Advent, he told his suburban parish he was gay, and celibate.
They leapt to their feet in applause. His story went viral. A year-old priest called him to say he had lived his entire life in the closet and longed for the future to be different. A woman wrote from Mississippi, asking him to move south to be her priest. To some church leaders, that outpouring of support may have been even more threatening than his sexuality.
Father Greiten had committed the cardinal sin: He opened the door to debate. His archbishop, Jerome E. Listecki of Milwaukee, issued a statement saying that he wished Father Greiten had not gone public. The idea that gay priests are responsible for child sexual abuse remains a persistent belief, especially in many conservative Catholic circles. For years, church leaders have been deeply confused about the relationship between gay men and sexual abuse. Study after study shows that homosexuality is not a predictor of child molestation. This is also true for priests, according to a famous study by John Jay College of Criminal Justice in the wake of revelations in about child sex abuse in the church.
The John Jay research, which church leaders commissioned, found that same-sex experience did not make priests more likely to abuse minors, and that four out of five people who said they were victims were male. The notion that a certain sexual identity leads to abusive behavior has demoralized gay priests for decades. Days after one man retired, he still could not shake what his archbishop in the s told all the new priests headed to their first parish assignments.
He meant a predator, like serial predator.
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This perception persists today at prominent Catholic seminaries. At the largest in the United States, Mundelein Seminary in Illinois, few ever talk about sexual identity, said one gay student, who is afraid to ever come out. Since last summer, when Mr. McCarrick was exposed for abusing young men, students have been drilled in rules about celibacy and the evils of masturbation and pornography. Priests across the country are wondering if their sacrifice is worth the personal cost. Am I going to hide? Become hardened, and old?
Blaming gay men for sexual abuse is almost sure to be a major topic this week at the Vatican, at a much-anticipated four-day summit on sexual abuse. It is an amazing life.
Bear (gay culture) - Wikipedia
I am fascinated with the depth and sincerity of parishioners, the immense generosity. I tune into that, because it sustains me.
That is far from my mind now. The event has worried gay priests.
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A few years after the scandal, the Vatican banned gay men from seminaries and ordination. A group of gay priests in the Netherlands recently took the unusually bold step of writing to Pope Francis, urging him to allow gay, celibate men to be ordained. He wished he could talk to Pope Francis himself. We have to stand up and say no more sexual abuse, no more sexual traumatizing, no more sexual wounding. We have to get it right when it comes to sexuality. For now, Father Greiten was getting ready for his 15th trip to Honduras with doctors and medical supplies.
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A shadow box hung on the wall behind him. Some bears place importance on presenting a clear masculine image and may disdain or shun men who exhibit effeminacy , [5] while others consider acceptance and inclusiveness of all behavioural types to be an important value of the community.
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The bear community consists primarily of gay or bisexual men. However, as LGBT culture and modern slang has taken on a wider appeal in modern society, it is possible to call a hairy and burly straight man a bear, although they would not be strictly part of the gay bear community. In Europe, especially after the so-called leather scene evolved from the merger of homosexual motorcyclists with other organizations in the s, some associations of men preferred bearded and hairy men. Thus, in the early s, the group "Beards meeting Beards" was created in London. Common to the initiators was the idea of creating a circle of friends for followers of hairy men, which was not subject to the constraints of the leather and fetish scene - especially their sometimes strict codes such as fetish orientation and rigid club structures.
At the onset of the bear movement, some bears separated from the gay community at large, forming "bear clubs" to create social and sexual opportunities of their own. Many clubs are loosely organized social groups; others are modeled on leather biker -patch clubs, with a strict set of bylaws, membership requirements, and charities. A feature at many bear events is a "bear contest," a sort of masculine beauty pageant awarding titles and sashes often made of leather to winners.
One example of a bear contest was International Mr. It attracted contestants, often with local titles, from all over the world. The first International Mr. Bear was held in and the last in The contest included Bear, Daddy, Cub and Grizzly titles with the contestant who receives the highest score winning the bear title, regardless of what type he is. Washington, D.
Bear, Gay "leather-bears" have competed in leather contests, and "muscle-bears" are another subculture noted by their muscular body mass.
The bear community has spread all over the world, with bear clubs in many countries. Bear clubs often serve as social and sexual networks for their members, who can contribute to their local gay communities through fund-raising and other functions.
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Bear events have become very common, to include smaller sized cities and many rural areas. Most gay oriented campgrounds now include some type of bear-related event during their operating season.
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The bear community constitutes a specialty niche in the commercial market. It offers T-shirts and other accessories as well as calendars and porn movies and magazines featuring bear icons, e. Catalina Video has a bear-themed line, the "Furry Features Series. There are also social media websites and smartphone apps that market to men of the bear community. As the bear community has matured, so has its music and literature, as well as other non-pornographic arts, media, and culture.
The larger organized bear runs often host a "bear market" area where artisans, musicians, and others offer items for sale. As more gay men have identified themselves as bears, more bars , especially leather or western bars, have become bear-friendly. Some bars cater specifically to bear patrons [14]. Jack Fritscher notes that bears celebrate "secondary sexual characteristics of the male: Many claim discrimination has increased within the bear community, as some men who self-identify as "bears" or "musclebears" do not welcome higher-bodyfat men see chub at their events.