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Even now, I find myself trying and failing to butch myself up when surrounded by extended family members, or straight men I am unfamiliar with.

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But the effect of constantly being fed the message that femme equals bad is hard to ignore. Unsettling, considering I am gay. I am not completely shielded from it even when off hookup apps like Grindr. A quick flick through my explore page on Instagram shows groups of carbon-copy muscular, hairy, tattooed groups of often scantily clad men out in da club or partying on Fire Island. All of whom have been open before about their struggle with dating. Lib Dems. US Politics. Theresa May. Jeremy Corbyn. Robert Fisk. Mark Steel. Janet Street-Porter. John Rentoul.

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