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We hadn't so much as exchanged "heys," and there we were, alone together.

Typically, I find each repeated hookup with the same person to be more fruitful than the last, but this time I experienced something unexpected: Entertaining pillow talk, he expressed wishing to move to South America. I gushed over the new David Sedaris diaries. We asked a lot of questions. The mundanity of our conversation juxtaposed with the surreal setting left me feeling dazed and slightly euphoric.

I wondered if the mechanical nature of our introduction was why I hadn't considered this Grindr hookup more romantically. Eventually, we said our goodbyes. Bounding out of the room, I saw T gliding up a distant staircase.

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Hawks is a maze. It's a scatterplot of dressing rooms with netted ceilings that allow you to peer in from the tops of curvy landings. The glass doors of the steam room and the silver shower faucets dotting the walls make for funhouse mirrors. I asked T about Jane's whereabouts.

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He said he had had his fill and was ready to leave. Having encountered something sentimental, I also felt fulfilled.

We set out in search of Jane—he said he thought he saw her last in the middle of an orgy with a gaggle of older men. This was believable: I estimated that out of 50 or so people, the average person at Hawks was about On bi night, the split was about 70 percent men and 30 percent women. Most men were lone wolves.

For whatever reason, my resistance to the hypersexuality was rapidly wearing. Nude bystanders tried their best to pinpoint when they saw Jane last and with which guy.

Most of our peers sympathized with our impossible quest. T and I resorted to the information desk. A suave, something gray-haired guy pulled up beside us, clothed and ready to check out.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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