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Controlling the frame means controlling the context and the direction of the conversation. Being commanding. Too many guys will hear an unfavorable comment and just deflate and give up. Or sometimes, the girls will say something negative about them and they fall into it by addressing it. The next thing you know, the discussion is out of their control and they're faced with the distasteful choice of either digging themselves out of the hole, or giving up and ejecting.
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At this point, most guys do the latter. Frankly, so would I. Best to prevent things from getting to that point in the first place. That means cutting off threads thatwork against you. That means talking over people who are saying things that don't lead the conversation in the ways you want it to go. Sometimes, it means flagrantly changing the subjectwith a ridiculous non-sequiter. Whatever works. Frame control can be a difficult thing to learn, but I can't stress this enough: It's absolutely necessary. The motto of the salesmen in the movie is "ABC: Always Be Closing".
This is the motto of the successful pick-up artist as well. Don't get me wrong here. I don't mean you should go up to women and try to get them back to your place in the shortest time possible. Don't jump the gun This isn't a race.
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By the same token, however, I get frustrated when I see guys talking to these girls for hours on end without doing anything to escalate things toward a situation where things get physical. Like, it's three hours in and they haven't even touched her on the arm. I think a big reason guys do this is because they're afraid to get blown out.
Like, they think, "Ok, this is going great, she's laughing at my jokes and we're vibing really well, I better not screw it up by trying to escalate.
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These girls have reasonable expectations that you're gonna step up at some point and take things to the next level. Don't let them down. It's just tacky. Once that window's closed, you're done, bro. Always have a direction, and always be moving the set forward in that direction. It's about being expressive. At RSD, we define game as: Some of these guys I see in the field are talking to the girls, and they look like a marble bust of George Washington or something When I'm in set, I'm mugging like Jim frickin Carrey. Sometimes I'll have this stupid smirk on my face, other times I'll look at them like I'm judging them, other times I'll scrunch up my nose and wink at them.
It all depends on the energy I'm getting from the girl. I calibrate and react accordingly. There are XXX muscles in your face I don't know, it's a really big number , and these let you express an almost infinite range of emotions. Try it now.
Go to the mirror and make as many faces as you possibly can. Go ahead And if they are, at least you'll entertain them. OK, that's enough. You're scaring me. I do this frequently as an exercise to keep those expressions queued up and ready to go. Trust me on this Now, obviously, you don't want to spook the girl by rolling up and getting two inches from her face right off the bat.
That's just asking for rejection, it's creepy. You wanna approach with non- threatening body language. Maybe even a little "active disinterest". To show you're not one of the dozens of needy losers that hit on her every night. At some point, you have to get closer. It's just a fact. Nothing is gonna happen if you stay at arm's length You gotta "cut in".
I'll usually get all up in their space as soon as I know I've hooked them. That is, as soon as I know they've stopped thinking, "Why is this guy talking to me," and started thinking, "I hope this guy doesn't stop talking to me. I'll back off just as abruptly as I went in.
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