First things first: Let's take a look at what the terms mean. Bear in mind that human sexuality is fluid and highly nuanced, and the labels as used here are meant only to help us understand each other, not to stereotype or classify too strictly. A top is a partner who prefers to penetrate his partner—as opposed to a bottom, who prefers to be penetrated.
Explaining the terms this way, however, is a bit of an oversimplification. These preferences each typically come with preconceived notions about the types of people who fit each one—but whether these ideas ring true matters only to you and your partner. This isn't always the case, though. That's why the best way to determine if you're a top or bottom is to experiment with your partner.
There is no aspect of sex that doesn't have, at its core, an aspect of power. So part of the thing that you have to ask yourself is, 'What am I comfortable with? Do I like initiating sex? Do I like telling my partner what to do, or do I like being told what to do? You might like taking your car for a service just as much as servicing it yourself. As Miller explains, there are outside forces that, dating back to the ancient Greeks, have prevented gay men from truly digging into what sexual behaviors we might actually enjoy. The ongoing fetishization of masculinity means that the traditionally submissive role of the bottom is associated with effeminacy.
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Disciplining the practice of qualitative research. Jan Denzin Y. Fontana J. Queering the Pitch? Sexual pleasure and "bottom" identity constructs amongst gay youth in a Stepping Stones workshop. This paper explores the meanings attached to gay sexuality through the self-labelling practices of a group of young gay-identified students in focus group and individual interviews in Johannesburg, South Africa.