Avoid using shower attachments - the water pressure can be dangerous. You can get douche bulbs online or from any good sex shop. Try not to go overboard and irritate the lining of your arse, as this can make you more vulnerable to STIs. Get yourself relaxed with lots of foreplay like rimming or fingering. Some men do use amyl nitrate poppers to relax the muscles around their arse but there are two major health warnings.
Any position where your knees are bent and drawn into your chest, whether you are kneeling, lying on your back or on your side, will probably lead to more comfortable sex, or will be a good position to start from. Use water- or silicone-based lubricants if you're using latex condoms. Avoid any lube with nonoxynol It irritates the lining of the arse, may make sex more painful and also increases your risk of HIV.
Look after your arse. You can't get a new one. So know your limits.
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With time you may be able to take larger objects but there's always a maximum size: Take your time and listen to your partner. This is as much about the emotional as the physical side. Find out what he likes. Ask him how he likes it. Listen to his reactions too. The first time you top, you may be a little anxious. This may make your erection less hard than usual.
Relax — you're both there to enjoy yourselves. If you have erection problems, concentrate on something else like kissing for a while. If getting or staying hard is a regular problem, see our section on ED on page 6. Our advice above on lubes and position apply as much to tops as to bottoms. Lube is essential when topping. Anal mucus can carry high concentrations of HIV, and the membrane just inside the tip of your cock and the foreskin can absorb that directly into the bloodstream if you fuck a guy's arse without a condom.
You know the solution. Rubber up. Substances like steroids can also cause the prostate to enlarge. Don't put sex before safety.
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Trust your instinct about where and what isn't safe. Carry condoms and lube. If bottoming, you might want to put the condom on the top yourself. Most men experience some symptoms around two to six weeks after infection such as a sore throat, fever, body aches or rash. These symptoms are common to other illnesses and many people do not realise they could be a sign of HIV infection. There is no cure but, if you are diagnosed with HIV and treated, you should have a normal life expectancy.
HIV lives in the blood and in some body fluids. The more HIV someone has in their bodily fluids, the more infectious they are, and the more likely they are to have serious health problems. Men who have sex with men should get tested roughly every six months for HIV.
You can get tested at any sexual health clinic. A lot of places do one-hour testing or even quicker. It just involves a finger prick, so no worries about needles. You can also get home testing kits by post.
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Sometimes penetration isn't even in the cards. Maybe you don't really enjoy anal, or you have a medical issue like IBS. Or maybe you just don't feel like dealing with condoms, lube, and enemas. That's totally fine, because extended foreplay, oral sex, rimming, and mutual masturbation are all excellent alternatives. They're less complicated, more spontaneous, and can be just as pleasurable. Sure, a big penis might be nice to stroke or gaze at longingly.
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But if the penis is too large, it's not fitting in the back door. Ain't nobody got time for that. It takes too much time to work up to it and stretch things out.
Although, poppers -- a substance some gay men take to relax muscles to make anal sex easier -- can help with that issue. An actual sentence someone said to me after I came out was this little gem: Years after the AIDS epidemic, there's still a pervasive misconception that gay sex is dirty and undoubtedly leads to STDs, which simply isn't true. Today, we even have PrEP: Oh, and it ought to go without saying, but if you're HIV-positive, this doesn't make you dirty or unbeautiful.
You can still have sex: We want to know if our partners are tops, bottoms, power bottoms, or versatile. These aren't just arbitrary labels. They help us figure out who's comfortable doing what -- and that, my friend, is sex-positive. Helping your partner get the most pleasure out of sex is something we should all strive for, and when both are capable of penetration, it's even more necessary.
I know you're wondering, so: A power bottom is a man who both receives the penetration and dominates during sex, taking control of things like speed, depth, and position.
It can also be enjoyed sober
This is no place for heteronormativity, people. A gay man is still a man regardless of whether he prefers to top or bottom. Restrictive gender roles have no place in any relationship, and certainly not a gay one. If both men identify as men, then they're men. It's incredibly romantic being with someone of the same sex, someone who so closely understands your body.
One playing "the guy" and the other "the girl" is irrelevant. Or, " P-spot.
Questions About Gay Sex Positions, Terms, Orgasms & More Explained - Thrillist
We're not just sticking it in to stick it in OK, sometimes we are -- there's a goal involved. Maximum pleasure comes from stimulating the prostate, which can be intensely satisfying and lead to a more fulfilling orgasm. Straight men and their fragile buttholes seriously don't know what they're missing, unless they've let their girlfriends strap on a dildo and peg them , in which case, I applaud their efforts.
Tom Vellner is an associate staff writer at Thrillist who hopes his mom didn't get this far in the article. Follow him on Twitter tomgvellner. Share on Facebook Tweet this article Pin it Email.