It will open your eyes to some stuff you may not have previously thought about whatever your sexual orientation.
15 Gay Relationship Problems Straight People Don't Understand (Reddit Confessions)
The women I am attracted to are not the women I want to look like. I would love to be as thin and delicate as the skinniest catwalk model, but while I admire that body aesthetically, I never want to bang those waifs.
I want to bang girls with lovely breasts and curving waists and the kind of thighs that could wrap strongly around my head. It's just - weird, that the kind of girl I want to look like, the ideal that I hate myself for falling short of, isn't at all the kind of girl I'm sexually attracted to. I'd just like to say we should all accept our bodies the way they are, be healthy instead of striving for some ideal.
I can imagine though, that there could be insecurity in LGBT relationships for some people, in terms of comparing yourself to the other. Cis, straight men and women won't have this issue because their bodies are very different to begin with. Just imagine any time you broke up with someone and later saw them with someone you knew, and add in kinda being into the person they're dating now too as well as still having feelings for them.
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Or the True Unidirectional love triangle. It's a vortex of suffering. This is one of those universal things that lesbians and gays complain about, no matter where they're from. Even if you're in a big city, you still probably go to the same few bars with the same crowd or you're all in the same women's soccer league etc. The incestuousness of a small community is an unfortunate part of queer life. There is a very strong sense of culture in the community, some people take it very seriously.
I don't participate, not because I don't agree with it well thats a lie, I think most of it is stupid but more like I just don't feel any connection, but some times I date guys who only hang out with gay people and don't have any straight friends at all who aren't women. This can get kind of "weird".
Relationship advice
It's kind of the old story of not getting along with your significant other's friends with a strange twist. I'm personally well into gay culture, but I know people who aren't and they have their own reasons. Perhaps they don't want to fit a stereotype or be constricted to one tribe and that's cool, whatever makes you happy. I think you can do both though, enjoy gay culture and hanging out with other gays, while still doing your own thing and hanging out with whoever you want to. My boyfriend is not completely out, but I love his family.
I know they would accept him, but he is afraid.
Masculinity
It is difficult because I love spending time with his family. I don't like being the best friend, though. Another is public outness. I'm very out, but very aware of my surroundings and safety.
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We are not big guys, we are small and nerdy. Neither of us is muscular or intimidating. I know that we wouldn't be able to defend ourselves in a fight, so I'm always looking over my shoulder before I hold his hand. You'd think in this day and age that everyone who is gay would just be out. But unfortunately it's not true, some LGBT people can't come out to their families for fear of rejection. It's sad, but hopefully we can become progressive enough that it becomes easier for those people.
It can be really tough to meet someone when you're gay because you have no way of knowing for sure of a man's orientation other than by using intuition. Unless you go to a gay club, you just can't know for sure. And unfortunately, a lot of men, myself included, don't like the gay bars. Most of the highest quality men I've met have been from dating websites and I'm not ashamed in the least. There's a definite stigma that straight people my age 24 face when dating online--at least in the crowd I run in. I always have to preface an explanation about how I met someone with how it's the acceptable thing to do with the gays.
It's not fair. Straight people have a whole buffet of other straight people in front of them at all times. If a straight male sees an attractive female from across the room, he knows there is at some level a "chance" that the two of them could be together. Obviously he may not have talked to her there, but odds are that basic framework of potential attraction exists. When a gay man spots another man, unless he relies on stereotypes, he really has no idea if this fundamental potential exists.
Odds are against him. So, for him, he must spend a large portion of his time just finding out if that BASIC level of potential attraction required for any romantic relationship is there. Only after that can the other developments start. I think this especially true in more closeted circles like the area I'm from. Obviously in more gay-friendly areas it's easier to figure these things out. You need a good gaydar to work out who is gay or open. Plus, just because you're gay doesn't mean you only fancy other gay people. That's not easy either.
As a girly lesbian, I constantly get overlooked. If I'm in a gay club, everyone thinks I'm just some straight girl hanging about. I'm not gay enough for some lesbians and I'm forever having to "come out" to people over and over again because it's not obvious.
Which I realise is not always a bad thing. People need to realize that LGBT people come in all shapes and sizes and rainbow varieties. By now it should be obvious, but for some reason it isn't. As a femme lesbian, I have to come out over and over again like this woman.
It gets annoying because you genuinely don't know how people will react, at the very least you don't want them to stick that gay label on you as though it's the most interesting thing about you. You feel safer in a gayborhood, but that is also typically a place where gay bashers will congregate if they get in that mood. Also, when I was in a less accepting place than here, when my former partner and I would kiss on a public date, such as a public park, and there were cops around, we would often get harassed and threatened to be arrested for solicitation whereas the straight couples that were there were given a free pass to go fuck in the woods.
This is really sad but I had to include it because some people don't think that gay bashing still exists - it does. That's one of the many reasons why we have pride, to show that we're a strong community who stands up against injustices. It isn't a huge deal but after 6 years together it eats away at you and becomes extremely grating. Okay, so it's not so bad. John Rentoul.
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