Among bottoms, learning the art and science of douching—using an enema, syringe, or hose to flush out the rectal cavity before getting rammed to high heaven—is a sacred rite of passage. Like the asses they irrigate, douches come in all shapes and sizes, from readily available Fleet brand saline bottles to complicated shower contraptions for seasoned vets.
A Word of Warning From Writer Alexander Cheves
It's a messy reality of taking dick up your butt: If you don't want to end up with a disappointed top and a gross sex situation on your hands, a courteous bottom needs to douche beforehand. Or so many within the gay community think. In the interest of all my dirty bottoms out there, I asked a few doctors what one should do to prevent horror stories like George's.
What's really the best way to douche? The answer surprised me—according to medical experts, you probably shouldn't be doing it at all.
How to Be a Better Bottom
Stephen Goldstone , an assistant clinical professor of surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital and a specialist in anorectal disease and gay men's health. A Medical Handbook , so he knows a thing or two. Evan Goldstein, who founded the gay men's sexual wellness practice Bespoke Surgical and is one of the country's foremost anal rejuvenators , provided a helpful hypothetical. That's because, contrary to what your gay best friend or some insufferable YouTube personality told you, you don't truly need to clean out before riding the baloney pony all night long.
It all comes down to anatomy.
As Dr. Goldstein told me, stool resides in the sigmoid colon, the part of the large intestine closest to the rectum and anus. There, you'll find a muscle that keeps poo from going into the rectum and through the anus until you're actually ready to, you know, poo. That means there shouldn't be any stool where the top's dick is going, unless your top is hung like Jon Hamm times Justin Theroux. You're probably about to say, "Yeah, but when I douche all kinds of poo comes out. The thing about enemas and irrigation devices is that they were made for people with actual constipation issues, not bottoms.
When we douche, the force of water propelled into the colon goes past the area that actually needs to be clean for sex, up into the sigmoid colon.
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That fills the feces up there with water, and then washes it all out, which is the point of the enema in the first place. An enema cleans out way more than you need to for sex, making your butthole even dirtier in the process. And many people do this repeatedly, until the water comes out clear. I personally use a silicone based lube made by Gun Oil check Amazon for great price. I like this lube because it is not sticky and lightweight.
I can only speak for myself but I have found that it helps to also put a few drops of lube on my finger and gently coat the outer areas of my anus. All I can say is that it makes for better insertion. If you really want to help move things along, it might not hurt to pick up a lube launcher. What I like about this device is that it helps to coat the inside of your rectum with lubricant so that when you insert the nozzle, things go smoothly. There are a number of ways to go about insertion.
Probably the most effective approach is to do it while on all fours. This allows gravity to do most of the work for you. Some men prefer the side method approach. Here, you simply lay on your side and insert enema inside of your butt.
Anal douching safety tips
The drawback, however, is potential leakage. The longer you can hold it the better. First, avoid anything that causes you to strain. I recommend you simply sit on the toilette and do some light reading as your rectum empties itself. The water from the initial enema may take some time to pass through. It is completely normal to experience gas and bloating as you sit on the commode.
If you need to stand up for a moment and then sit back down, do so. Remember, you are pushing a combination of h20, air and poop through your anus. Move to the next step. I recommend douching at least twice prior to any bottoming activities.
17 Tips for Happier, Healthier Bottoming
There should be no brownish colored water coming out if you do it right. It often takes two and sometimes three cleansings to make sure your anal canal is free of any poop. Just being honest. That allows plenty of time for me to prepare and avoid surprises. Instead, using a pre-moistened wipe that is specifically designed for guys.
My personal favorite is Dude Wipes , which you can buy directly for Amazon. If you have time, make sure you read the following post on how to wipe your butt for men. Hope in the shower and rinse off. Should you choose, there are professional shower enemas on the market that are high quality. One of the best ones you can buy is from the folks at Clear Stream see Amazon for pricing.
It includes four different tips, which allows for optimal cleaning. This particular type of douche is often used by guys who consider themselves serious power bottoms. There are drawbacks to this approach. Second, the cleanup process takes time because there are more parts to clean. Running water over it is not sufficient. In a clean bowl or sink, pour 2 cupfuls of hydrogen peroxide and 1 cupful of organic soap into basin of water.
There has long been a debate about how much prep time is really needed before bottoming for a top. Most experts on gastrointestinal functioning believe it takes between hours for food to fully digest and turn into poop. Certain foods take longer to digest than others. Low fiber foods will do this as well. Clear soups and high fiber fruits are ideal. Second, keep in mind that after the enema is about 1. Ensure that there is no soap in the enema, as this can cause more irritation.
Most importantly, only use a small volume of water you can try the little bulbs that are sold in drug stores to clean out your ears. If you try to clean high up, the water will mix with the stool. This can fill the rectum with liquid stool, running the risk that you will have a messy experience. Toys present an excellent way to prepare and relax before intercourse, but they can easily cause trauma if used incorrectly, and even spread infections if shared.
Passing them back and forth between partners without thoroughly washing them can spread STIs.
17 Tips for Happier, Healthier Bottoming
Opt for softer latex toys that are much less likely to cause trauma than ones made with more rigid materials. Rimming can provide some lubrication and helps the anus relax before sex. That said, rimming can put both partners at risk for STIs, so be careful. Dental dams may be used as a protective barrier to minimize the risk of infection, but can obviously be awkward to use. Condoms are the best barrier against STIs, though their efficacy can vary depending on the type of infection.
Condoms are unfortunately less effective for STIs like herpes, HPV, and syphilis, which can be spread by skin-to-skin contact.
Even if you are consistently using condoms, PrEP can serve as a valuable backup if you are at even a minor risk for HIV exposure. It is very important that you get your PrEP from a healthcare professional who is comfortable prescribing the medication, who you can find by using our Lighthouse doctor search function. I have heard of individuals getting Truvada on the streets and this is a terrible idea.
Second, it is important that your doctor checks your kidney function and other lab tests every few months. This reflex is more pronounced in uncircumcised men, and will make bottoming more painful and difficult. Gently allow penetration to the point of minimal discomfort.
Within a minute, the sphincter will relax and the penis can be slowly inserted fully. After anal sex, shower normally with a gentle soap. Clean the outside of the anus very gently — do not attempt to scrub.
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Do not use enemas, including soap suds or Fleets. Get tested for STIs every three months if you are having anal intercourse with more than one partner, and every six months if you are monogamous. You can easily find a gay-friendly or gay-identifying doctor through Lighthouse to avoid negative discrimination or stigma.
When bottoming hurts, it could be that your anus is anatomically too tight or you are unable to relax, which is oftentimes a psychological response. Many people have had negative bottoming experiences in the past or simply have a fear of the unknown, rendering them unable to relax their anus and enjoy safe and pain-free anal intercourse.